Things I Wish Clients Knew Before Starting Therapy

You Don’t Have to Know What to Say

I generally have no expectations for the first appointment. There is no “right” way to start therapy. You don’t need a clear story, a diagnosis, or perfectly organized thoughts. Many people begin with, “I don’t even know where to start,” and that’s more than enough. 

Therapy Is Not About Being Fixed

You are not broken. Therapy isn’t about correcting who you are, it's about understanding yourself, reducing suffering, and building skills or insight that support the life you want to live. It is almost never about changing who we are, it is almost always about making the outside match the inside and making the inside closer to our true selves. 

Your Therapist Isn’t Judging You

Truly. I hear an incredible range of human experiences every day. The things clients worry are “too much” are almost always far more common and understandable than they realize. After more than a decade doing this work, one thing is clear: there is no such thing as normal. People are just people, doing their best with what they’ve been given.

You Can Say When Something Isn’t Working

If an approach doesn’t feel helpful, if something lands wrong, or if you feel misunderstood you can say so. Therapy works best when it’s collaborative, not one-sided. I don’t have all the answers and I would never claim to have them. I am here to help facilitate change.

You and your therapist's relationship is everything. 

The relationship between you and your therapist matters a lot. Research consistently shows that the strongest predictor of successful therapy isn’t a specific technique or intervention, but the quality of the therapeutic relationship. Feeling comfortable with and connected to your therapist is essential to healing. And if something doesn’t feel right—if we’re not your vibe that’s okay. You’re allowed to speak up about what you need. Advocating for yourself is part of the work, and we will genuinely respect and support that.